Coin of the Realm
Let's get cryptic
Hello again.
Here at CDA we watched in disgust as people lost their shirts on GameStop, AMC and other meme stocks. What world is this when trendy financial instruments leave their holders skint? When a stocks craze causes even the most hardened investors to froth at the mouth and babble incoherently on CNBC? Folks, making easy money is foundational to our lifestyles! Tantamount to our exceptionalism! So these were dark developments.
Happily, I’m here to offer a little hope. Utilizing the vast network of CDA server farms — in the Carpathians, the Seychelles, the Bahamas, and points between — we’ve generated an investment vehicle to carry us into the future: CDACOIN. Each CDACOIN is a digital token laboriously and painstakingly mined on our server farms. Robust proof-of-work protocols ensure your investment is safer than bullion at Fort Knox.[1] And CDACOIN has a hard production cap so — unlike shares of mid-2000s shopping mall stalwarts — its value won’t tank. Just sit back, wait, and appreciate.[2]
It’s time to abandon fickle and frankly arbitrary stock valuations — real investing 1.0 stuff, so embarrassing — and embrace what Jim Cramer has called, “probably the most irresistible ICO [initial coin offering] of this decade.”[3] It’s time for CDACOIN.
Simply reply to this email for details on access and pricing. As I always say at the start of each these things, 5468616e6b7320666f722072656164696e672c.[4]
Will Roseliep
[1] These statements have not been evaluated by the SEC, ESMA, JPX-R, or any other regulatory bodies. [2] In fact, do me a favor and refrain from forwarding this email to anybody at the aforementioned entities. This would all go very wrong very quickly. [3] Cramer did not actually say this. [4] Thanks for reading.
Welcome package
Thanks to everyone who recently decided to sign for the mailer. It seems like the Isserlis project was the catalyst — for better/worse — and I’m grateful for anyone who took the ultimate risk by tagging in.
Since I’ve been slow in arranging for official merchandise and tangible CDA objects to put out in the world (cryptocurrency excepted) I’m offering this as a welcome package: a pdf of my old book that I’m sure is now extremely dated and moronic; and mp3s from the ill-fated four-episode run of the CDA podcast, which lasted longer than it deserved to.
Think of this as me paying off my debt of gratitude by throwing all this junk on your doorstep, ringing the bell, and dashing. Are we even?
GRAMMY Picks
For many years running we’ve held a special GRAMMY gambling guide. CDA readers and passersby will vote for likely winners across eight classical music categories. Who will win?? Who knows, but the prediction pool is fun at least. Here are the bets you might consider making. I’m listing only categories for which we have a clear frontrunner, along with a 1-5 rating of confidence (1 is low, 5 is high), based on responses to our survey:
Best Opera Recording
GERSHWIN: PORGY AND BESS. David Robertson, conductor; Angel Blue & Eric Owens; David Frost, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)
Confidence level: 4
Best Choral Performance
KASTALSKY: REQUIEM. Leonard Slatkin, conductor; Charles Bruffy, Steven Fox & Benedict Sheehan, chorus masters (Joseph Charles Beutel & Anna Dennis; Orchestra Of St. Luke's; Cathedral Choral Society, The Clarion Choir, Kansas City Chorale & The Saint Tikhon Choir)
Confidence level: 3
Best Chamber Music / Small Ensemble Performance
HEARNE, T.: PLACE. Ted Hearne, Steven Bradshaw, Sophia Byrd, Josephine Lee, Isaiah Robinson, Sol Ruiz, Ayanna Woods & Place Orchestra
Confidence level: 5
Best Classical Solo Vocal Album
AMERICAN COMPOSERS AT PLAY - WILLIAM BOLCOM, RICKY IAN GORDON, LORI LAITMAN, JOHN MUSTO. Stephen Powell (Attacca Quartet, William Bolcom, Ricky Ian Gordon, Lori Laitman, John Musto, Charles Neidich & Jason Vieaux)
Confidence level: 3
Thanks for playing, and — as every condescending schmuck tells you in Vegas — good luck! The GRAMMYs are March 15th.
Good friends better enemies
There is a good bit of nepotism that creeps into these mailers. When friends and colleagues have news tips, or funny links, or projects they’re working on I like to trumpet them out at a Brucknerian fffff level. (Just hit reply to send me stuff.) It’s lucky when they’re good and I don’t end up looking stupid. Here are a few I’ve liked:
Composer Kirsten Volness is out with a new record River Rising that is well worth your attention. I worked with Kirsten on different projects in Boston. She was so prolific it seemed like every show I played in or went to featured a new piece of hers. The irrepressible violinist Lilit Hartunian appears on three tracks on the project, which (if you don’t know her) is noteworthy in itself. I suggest you brew up some twig tea, pop on headphones, fire up Winamp visuals and just vibe to River Rising. We’ll be here when you get back.
Horn player Kestrel Wright has elicited both cheers and threats for his outdoor practice technique in Red Wing, Minnesota. Who wouldn’t pause to enjoy dulcet horn tones while passing by a state park? I asked him if he’s still practicing outside during the winter months. His response? “Wind chill -22… that’s a no.”
Good writing is hard to come by even in this golden age of newsletters. That’s why we should all be reading violist Sarah Darling’s missives about her group A Far Cry and the various other projects she’s involved with. She’s *nice* with the pen, and the bow, and you’ll be thanking me when her newsletter hits your inbox.
Cellist Carey Bostian is hooking up regular Sunday features from his house as a promo for his group, Red Cedar Chamber Music. It’s a clever way to showcase some Baroque dance music by Bach and Telemann. Bostian is live again tomorrow, but if you miss it you can still watch the videos later (unless Youtube takes them down or something).
I will personally Fauch for these tweets
Linksomnia
😢 I cannot recommend a three-minute video more highly
🚗 Matthew Aucoin lets some air out of Boulez’s tires
🎹 It’s time you read about the ascendant Quinn Mason
Dark Thoughts
I’m not watching tons of live streams these days (gotta cut that screen time captain) but recordings of live shows are irresistible rn. I miss: the rustling between movements, scattered coughing, weird hall acoustics and miking, nervous claps building to a consensus reaction. Am eye the only 1, or do u crave applause 2? (Is probably the name of a Prince song.)
I’ve been piecing together a CDA archive because pandemic reasons. I’ve perused posts & back issues of the mailer and come away with two realizations: 1. save your source material! Link rot is real. (Goodbye, Youtube, audio, and image embeds; sayonara, outbound links). At least 50% of everything I’ve written has been rendered unintelligible. Considering 35% of it was unintelligible to begin with, we’re talking about a tiny amount of usable stuff. That brings us to lesson #2: live for the moment! Posterity be damned!
BUT REALLY, RIP MF DOOM. GOD DAMN.